Band Names 12/26/21

NEW BAND NAMES:

7221. The Implorening

7222. E-Blunderbuss-Unum

7223. Datin’ Ohio

7224. The 2nd Coming of Santa

7225. Booty Judge

7226. Fertile Liza

7227. Santa’s Sack

7228. Surely Hemp Fill

7229. L’il Lummox ‘n Oafy-G

7230. Pentupatonix

NEW BAND NAMES:

7211. The Lummox Quotient

7212. Peter SARSgood

7213. Trump’s Bass

7214. We Got One Ton ’a Mirrors

7215. The Booty Beauties

7216. Killin’ the Virus w/ Guns

7217. Necrophilia Is Fine!

7218. The Rubin Kincaids

7219. Smoke-Up-Your-Ass Detector

7220. Shempcompoop

My 20 Minutes Alone with Ed Asner

My 20 minutes alone with Ed Asner

I’m a writer & part of the team for The Nite Show with Danny Cashman, Maine’s only late night talk show, seen in the full state—Portland to “the county”—and some of New Hampshire. The sidekick of the show at the time was Joe Kennedy, and we were hanging out in one of the dressing rooms when he said, “Hey you want to meet Ed?” I said of course and we went to his dressing room. Joe knocked on the door and Ed said come in. He was alone, just sitting in a chair.
Joe introduced himself as the show’s sidekick and Ed started right in with an overly gruff, curmudgeon-type guy, saying things like, “Who?! Who are ya?!” When he did this I did my Curly impression from The 3 Stooges when he was scared, “Nyaa!”I could tell in Ed’s eyes that he liked this, so I did it a few more times as he acted all gruff and ornery. I took a pic of him and Joe, and then Ed looked at me and ordered, “Sit in my lap.” I was, “Really?” He said something like “Yup, you’re my ventriloquist dummy.” This felt like Ed’s SCTV training and I felt blessed and plopped down on his lap. Joe took some pics. Ed mouthed slightly speaking, expecting perhaps me to do the talking, or as a gift to me, to add dialogue later. I had Joe’s phone set to individual pics, and we only got the very end of the bit filmed, the part where I started doing impressions from The Mary Tyler Moore show—Ted and Georgette. He laughed and I jumped off his lap. Here’s the 3-second video that survived:


//www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMaxJdcyYeo


Joe had to leave for some show thing and Ed wanted me to stay. I asked if he wanted copies of my books. He said, “I won’t read them but I’ll accept the gift.” I figured what the hell, the comedy novelty book isn’t a book one “reads,” so I figured 1 out of the 3 he might peruse. I said I’d be right back. He was so sweet he said something like, “You better be.” I ran to the show’s dressing room where Danny was alone, finishing up the cue cards. I rifled through my backpack, grabbing 3 books, and said, “He doesn’t want me to leave!” Danny laughed. I went back.
Ed said, “You came back!” He was such a sweetheart, making some nobody like me feel special. That’s still my main take-away from the encounter with Ed Asner. Supportive and kind.
He lost his curmudgeon bit and was just a normal guy. His voice was kind of raspy and airy when he wasn’t in character, and I figured that was just due to age. He still had the loud, commanding voice at his disposal. He said, “I feel bad, with a tight, wispy throat since coming out East.”
It’s almost 3 years later, and I’ll try to remember some more. We talked politics and mocked Trump together. “The swamp got even swampier.” I said how I used to watch him as Lou Grant with my grandparents in the 70’s and started to gush—he wasn’t into that, and waved that behavior away. He was sitting in the only chair in the room and I sat on the floor, saying “I’m young I can sit on the floor” And him saying, “Yes you are.”
His daughter came in and gave him a pork slider & some chips that we have at the Nite Show tapings, and left. He offered me some chips, I said no. He gave me his pen and I signed my books for him. He got gruff again and asked “Are you published?” I said no, I haven’t tried to get these books published yet. He insisted I should try and said he had a book coming out soon about his life.

We talked about The Mary Tyler Moore Show and he said, “You know, that show put me on the map.” I said how gorgeous Mary was and I think the next thing he said was bullshit, just messing with me. He said softly, “And she tasted good too…” I “sang” the instrumental sax melody to his hour-long Lou Grant spinoff show, and he had no idea what it was from. Then he asked me to sing the Mary theme. I did the ending and he sang along. “You’re gonna make it after allllll-” I threw in the kitten “meow.” That I’ll never forget.
He got slider gunk on his shirt—the one he was going on the air in. I got a wash cloth and stood over him trying to get the stain out. His daughter or someone eventually came and had him hang his glasses over it. She was really sweet. We all talked politics for a few minutes. People for the show came in to prep him and I had to pee and ducked into his bathroom, and he says in his loud, gruff voice, “Hey, what’s he doing in there?!” I laughed loudly.
And those are my memories with Ed. RIP.

http://davidforbesbrown.com/

Red Sox need to win like this again. Hello from Maine.

Juxtaposin’ June around the yard with late October.

A bald eagle flew by while I was on the roof juxtaposin’:

Did you know there are deciduous pine trees? They turn color in the fall and the needles fall off, just like leaves. I didn’t know they existed until moving here 20 years ago.

BTW – I sold 155 books at the novel stand this season.

Red Sox Report 2018 – World Series game 5, 10/28/18

Sale “Big Papi-ing” up the team when they were down 4-0.

I am writing this final 2018 Report the following day, after having watched the game with someone who cares as much as I do about the Sox winning (and that’s saying something ‘cuz I’m all-out, full-blown crazy), the man who was here for the 2013 World Series, Benny Higgins. Here we are seconds after the 4th Red Sox World Series win in our lifetime:

Steve Pearce grew up a hardcore Red Sox fan. After being a true journeyman in the AL East—literally on every other team—he finally came here.  STEVE PEARCE IS HOME.

FUN-STATS

Chris Sale became the first pitcher since Hall of Famer Hal Newhouser of the Detroit Tigers in 1945 to get the first and last outs of a World Series.  
When David Price got Manny Machado to fly out to left field in the sixth inning of Game 2, it began a streak of batters retired by Red Sox pitching that would stretch until the end of the game. It was the longest game-closing streak since Don Larsen’s perfect game for the Yankees in the 1956 World Series (also against the Dodgers).World Series MVP Steve Pearce totaled three home runs in approximately the span of 24 hours in Games 4 and 5. In doing so, he matched the World Series career total of David Ortiz, who also had three (playing in three World Series’).  
Speaking of Pearce’s multi-home run Game 5, it placed him on a genuinely elite list of other players who have also achieved the feat in a World Series clinching game. Of the 10 other players to do it, nine are in the Hall of Fame (the exception being the not-so-anonymous Kirk Gibson).The historically long 18-inning Game 3 took more than seven hours to finish, setting a playoff record. That was underscored by the fact that Game 3 took longer in total time than the entire 1939 World Series.The Red Sox endured a pronounced slump from the top four hitters in the lineup during all of Game 3, and into Game 4. It reached 41 at-bats without a hit until Steve Pearce’s timely home run tied the game (leading to a Boston win).After never experiencing a hitless streak lasting more than eight at-bats in the regular season, Mookie Betts – winner of the American League batting title in 2018 – was mired in an 0-13 streak in Game 5. Then, with the Red Sox holding a one-run lead, he launched a scorch-bomb. It was his first career postseason home run. Slump over.—————————————————————————————————-
At some point, MLB is going to have to take action regarding Machado. 

IN THIS SERIES, MANNY MACHADO TRIED TAKING OUT PEARCE BY DELIBERATELY SPIKING HIS FOOT AT 1ST. The coward on FOX, Joe Buck, said it wasn’t intentional at all—a direct lie by a small man.Think I’m exaggerating? Then I directly question your intelligence. And your wisdom. A week earlier, Machado tried taking out someone on the Brewers in the NLCS:

Machado may have ended Pedey’s career a year ago with an obviously intentional slide right into his surgical spot.

Here’s the Pearce one:

 On NESN after game 4, Tom Caron, Steve Lyons, and Lenny DiNardo watched the clip of the Pearce-spiking and, like any idiot with a pea-brain can see, it was intentional. TC mentioned how Joe Buck “lied” about it. Steve Lyons summed up Macho perfectly. I recorded it so I could write it verbatim. Here’s former player Lyons:  “I’ve seen enough of it. I’ve seen what he’s done this post season. We’ve seen what he’s done in an Orioles uniform. The guy’s a punk. And that’s just the way he is. He’s a dirty player and we’re all tired of seeing it. I’m not for that kind of crap.That’s BS baseball right there. There’s no reason for any of that.”

DiNardo:  “Call me old school. He’s blowing a bubble down the line and taking out the ankles. Call me old school, but someone’s gotta pay.”

The footage is here.

And now for a gif of Brock Holt—the opposite of the douchebag Machado—to cleanse the palate:

IT’S THE 1ST TIME IN RED SOX HISTORY THAT THE SOX HAVE WON 50 ON THE ROAD AND 50 AT HOME.
For the first time in a 118-year franchise history, the Red Sox have 106 regular season wins. (108.)
RED SOX POST SEASON GRAND SLAMS:
1999 ALDS game 5 at CLE – Troy O’Leary
2004 ALCS – game 7 at NYY – Johnny Damon
2007 ALCS game 6 vs. CLE – J.D. Drew
2013 ALCS game 2 vs. DET – Big Papi
2013 ALCS game 6 vs. DET – Shane Victorino
2018 ALCS game 3 at Houston – JBJ

The New England Red Sox (representing 6 of our United States) are in LA for GAME 5 of THE 2018 WORLD SERIES with the dreaded Los Angeles Dodgers.  Sox are up 3-1 in the series.
(Yes, I’m aware that Vermont and Connecticut are tainted by pure, massive, absolute evil.)

I wonder where your observation of “pure, massive, absolute evil” in Vermont comes from?  All my experience  is that most Vermonters think of the Red Sox in terms of life and death.  Actually they don’t – they’re more important than that!  Best regards. Bob

Glad to know! GO VERMONT!Flux

To the mound for LA comes ace Kershaw.

To our hill ascends David Price.

TONIGHT’S LINEUP:
Mookie-CF/Benny/Pearce/JD-RF/Bogie/Holt/Devers/Vazquez/Price

1ST INNING:      And the Dodgers take the field…   Mookie flies out.  BENNY SHOOTS A SINGLE UP THE MIDDLE.   PEARCE JACK-MASHES A BOMB TO CENTER!!!   2-0, New England!

   Sox then go in order.  (When scoring first this whole year, Sox have only 15 losses.)    In the bottom, the Red Sox take the field as Price ascends the hill…   LEAD-OFF FREESE HOME RUN.   2-1.   Walk. DOUBLE PLAY. “Not a” Manny “Dirty Ball Punk” Machado to his baby-souled hate-ape box.  STRIKE OUT.    2-1, New England.


2ND INNING:      Sox go in order.    In the bottom, PRICE:  STRIKE OUT. Single. Fly out. STRIKE OUT #3.    2-1, New England.

 Remember when Brandon Phelps (OMG it changed it to Phelps—REAL NAME PHILLIPS) won a game for us almost on his own?

3RD INNING:      Sox go in order.    In the bottom, PRICE:  Ground out. TRIPLE. Ground out—runner can’t score! Fly out!    2-1, New England.


4TH INNING:      JD SINGLES for naught.    In the bottom, PRICE:  Machado up. STRIKE OUT #4. Fly out. Line out.    2-1, New England.


5TH INNING:      Sox go in order.    In the bottom, PRICE:  STRIKE OUT #5. Ground out. Ground out.    2-1, New England.


6TH INNING:      MOOKIE CRUNCH-LAUNCHES A BAD-ASS 1-OUT BOMB TO LEFT/CENTER!   3-1.

   Sox then go in order.    In the bottom,  PRICE:  Ground out. Line out. Ground out.    3-1, New England.

7TH INNING:      JD MISSILE-CANONS A LEAD-OFF BLAST-BOMB TO CENTER!   4-1.

   BOGIE SINGLES and DEVERS SINGLES for naught.    In the bottom,  PRICE:  Line out. Fly out. Ground out. Price dude.    4-1, New England.

8TH INNING:      Pedro Baez to the freeway.  PEARCE SCORCH-IGNITES A 2-OUT SOLO BOMB TO LEFT/CENTER!  HIS 2ND BOMB!   5-1.   JD K’s.    In the bottom, PRICE:  Lead-off walk.   CORA COMES OUT.   KELLY:  STRIKE OUT. STRIKE OUT! STRIKE OUT!!! KELLY STRIKES OUT THE SIDE IN ORDER!    5-1, New England.


9TH INNING:      SALE:  STRIKE OUT. STRIKE OUT! MACHADO UP. STRIKE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SALE STRIKES OUT THE SIDE IN ORDER!!!!

Red Sox win 5-1!  RED SOX WIN THE 2018 WORLD SERIES IN 5 GAMES!!!!!  Price was immaculate once again:  7 FULL:  3 hits… 2 walks, 5 Ks, 1 run…   Mookie!  JD!  Pearce—2 bombs!!!!!

                   R     H     E
New England        5     8     0
Los Angeles        1     3     0

Pearce is the 2018 WORLD SERIES MVP!

See you in March!

davidforbesbrown.com

novel #1 in my Black Island series:   Black Island

AND THE BLACK ISLAND STORY CONTINUES, THANKS AMAZON:Black Island 2

my comedy novelty book:  2000 Band Names

My other blog consists mostly of new band names & unused monologue jokes for The Nite Show with Danny Cashman:   other blog

me yelling at Maine’s Governor LePage and other videos:   my yooztube

    AL EAST 2018:

New England  108    54      —New York     100    62       8Tampa Bay     90    72      18Toronto       73    89      35Baltimore     47   115      61

WORLD SERIES WON.
Sox on the plane en route to the duck boats.

This is cool:
JD’s first time at Fenway

S O X T O B E R   W O N   Y O !!!!

Except for the last couple months of Bobby Valentine (and a couple times a year when I’m away without internet and bunch a few games together), I have written a Red Sox Report for every game of the season, for the last 13 years. My “Red Sox Report” is older than NESN’s.

SCROLL DOWN FOR PREVIOUS RED SOX REPORTS.

This was Napoli’s way of trying to get more fans in the stands at Texas—he’s used to the amazing Fenway Faithful, poor guy. Now he’s on Francona’s Indians. THIS JUST IN:  He’s back in Texas.

Kimbrel the Kestrel is the fastest pitcher in MLB history to reach 300 saves.

RED SOX HAVE THE HIGHEST PAYROLL IN 2018!  I can’t forgive the firing of Tito, but I love you all over again, John Henry.

FLUX’S “MASSIVE-WISDOMS” CORNER:  
When you make an “assumption,” you make an ass out of an ump and shun him.
http://m.mlb.com/news/article/177323964/hanley-ramirez-crushes-468-foot-home-runhttp://blog.chowdaheadz.com/2016/05/07/ron-kulpa-should-be-fired/

Wait—something’s trying to break through into our reality!

Dennis Eckersley, our NESN guy & former Red Sox pitcher (Hall of Famer), was also big in Oakland in his career. They have a foam dude-thing of him racing two other represented famous A’s. I like how Don Orsillo keeps pushing it—Eck is uncomfortable but goes along. They both comment how it doesn’t look like him. But at least it “wins” the “race”:

Don auditioning for The Banana Splits (no one’ll get this joke yet I write it):

Here’s a Francona/Don tussle from the past: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRfJ7uIJ7nc

Bob Costas speaks about Don:https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=75&v=xfLPrG5eKo4

Sometimes a ball gets stuck in a glove. The following is legal:

Sometimes a ball gets stuck somewhere else:

FACTOID:  Julia Ruth Stevens, Babe Ruth’s still-living daughter, lives in New Hampshire and is a hardcore Red Sox fan. Here’s her daughter, Linda Ruth Tossetti:

Too funny:http://m.mlb.com/video/v34211265/chcbos-papi-heads-to-first-base-before-the-pitch
16 seconds: Francona gives Don the finger on the air

Here is a baseball commentary regarding the Red Sox and Yankees by a British fellow:http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/blog/eye-on-baseball/22451145
Remember Heidi Watney?:http://thinkprogress.org/alyssa/2011/07/08/262303/the-strange-case-of-heidi-watney/
new link: very unflattering for Ty Cobb – “Father forgive me, for I have pitched.”http://sabr.org/bioproj/person/8b444434

My book “2000 Band Names” is available in paperback and Kindle/computer on Amazon. Click on the book and then click on “first pages” to see the first 84 band names in the book:  http://www.amazon.com/2000-Names-David-Forbes-Brown/dp/0692481184

Band Names 4/5/20

banned 3

NEW BAND NAMES:

  1. The Unlaundered
  2. More On
  3. Hot Cross Nuns
  4. Buddha: Pest
  5. Beenadick Conundrumbatch
  6. Kyle She Wrote
  7. Susan “Phil” Collins
  8. Mammary Foam
  9. The Emotional Support Parameciums
  10. Megageddon

see 84 more here

newnite 35

newnite 37

newnite 36

f2c9f-novel2bstand2band2bstuff2b009

newnite 23

newnite 22

newnite 20

newnite 40

newnite 8

939ee-oct-2b302b007

bf39e-juxtaposin2boct-2b192b010

b12d4-hummings2b007

newnite 16

ce5f2-the2bpath2b001

6ed7e-juxtaposin2boct-2b192b012

newnite 7

ma kara d 1

me demp

me and ed

me winslow

newnite 10

me stand

newnite 24